Tampilkan postingan dengan label Communication. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label Communication. Tampilkan semua postingan

Sabtu, 26 November 2011

A Blind Man's Advertisement




Once upon a time, an old blind man was sitting on the busy street corner in downtown Kansas City begging for money.  On a cardboard sign, next to an empty tin cup, he had written, "Blind--Please Help" 

He sat there for hours, and no one gave him any money.  Eventually, a young advertising agent walked past, saw the blind man and his empty cup, and noticed all the people passing by.  The advertising agent took a thick marker from her pocket, turned the cardboard sheet over.  After pondering for a moment, she rewrote the sign and headed on her way.

Immediately, passerbys began to put money in the tin cup.  After awhile, when the cup was overflowing with money, the blind man asked a stranger to tell him what the sign said.

"It says, 'It's a beautiful day.  You can see it.  I cannot.'" replied the stranger.

This anecdote is a reminder that the words we choose influences how well we connect with other people.  Whether we are aware of it or not, effective communication is absolutely essential in personal and professional lives.  If you are willing to master it, every aspect of your life will improve.    

Rabu, 16 November 2011

Reasons Why You Should Visit Office Hours

In college, every professor is required to hold office hours, which is a chance for students to stop by without an appointment and ask questions about the course.  When I started college, I told myself every excuse in the book to avoid office hours:
-I had too much homework.
-I had a class during the scheduled office hours.
-Office hours are for struggling students.
-I am intimidated by the professor.

Now, I look forward to the opportunity to interact with professors.  I can’t pinpoint a specific time when my attitude towards office hours shifted, but it did, and I now make every effort I can to become acquainted with some of the smartest people in the world.  Besides a casual conversation, there are many benefits that showing up to office hours can offer you. 
 
Clarification on course material
In a lecture, it can be difficult to summon the courage to ask a question.  You might feel insecure or embarrassed at asking a question the class might already knows the answer to.  If the textbook does not offer an answer that makes sense, go see your professor about your concern.  After all, the professor is the individual teaching the class.  Therefore, he or she is expected understand the course material to a greater extent than you.  Go in there with questions, listen, and hopefully, you will come out a more informed person.
 
Job Opportunities
While a professor has the power to offer you as job as a teaching assistant, most of the time, a strong letter of recommendation will help you tremendously.  Furthermore, professors are generally well-connected people who can refer you to someone in the field you are interested in.  If a contact ends up landing you a job or internship, remember to be appreciative and grateful to your professor.
 
Enhance Your Education Experience
I know this idea sounds absurd, but you might actually be one of the few people in college to learn new things.  If you find the course material to be intellectually stimulating, go to office hours to learn about other courses that will further your understanding of your areas of interest.  Professors can also offer you good advice about graduate school and research opportunities relevant to your academic interests.  Tuition and fees are exorbitant as it is, so why not get your money’s worth? 

Just like you, professors are people.  If you treat them with respect and decency, you will find they will react the same way.  Professors want to inform and share their knowledge about their discipline, or else they would not have applied for a teaching job.  Demonstrate honesty, sincere curiosity, and respect, and you can’t go wrong. 

Rabu, 02 November 2011

Short Interview Tips

 https://contentmgmt.quinstreet.com/imagesvr_ce/4246/job%20interview.jpg




As the recruiting season continues, many college students will double if not triple their current interview experience.  Because I am still learning the principles of strong interviewing, I don't have a wealth of knowledge to share yet.  However, I do maintain a list of 9 universally beneficial tips in my back pocket. 

1. Be Enthusiastic, Smile, and Exude Confidence

2. Know the company better than anyone else interviewing for the position
In addition to researching the company's mission, dig for current events and press releases you can casually bring up in your interview. 

3. Dress for success
You can't go wrong with a black suit and tie. 

4. Focus on how you can add value to the company, not how the company can benefit you.

5. Nonverbal communication is just as important as what you say.
Sit straight, make plenty of eye contact, and demonstrate enthusiasm through your body language. 

6. Never trash past employers or bosses or organizations.

7. Tell memorable stories that illustrate your strengths.

8. Show your interest with intelligent, informed questions.

9. Be Yourself
Be the best version of yourself, not a second-rate version of somebody else.

Senin, 31 Oktober 2011

Psychology Final Exam



A psychology professor at the University of Miami knew his students expected a terrifyingly long final exam.

To play with their minds a little (what do you expect from a psychology professor?) he only put ONE question on the final exam.

He watched the reactions of the students as they all opened the exams and saw the one question.
Initially they all looked relieved, but as the difficulty of the question began to sink in, those relieved faces sagged to confusion and consternation.

All, that is, except for one student.

He read the question, tapped his pencil into his palm a few times, then jotted something down on the test paper.

He walked up to the professor, handed him the final, and walked out.

The professor blinked in surprise, looked at what the student wrote, and smiled.

The professor wrote "100%" on the top of that student's test.


The question: What is courage?
The student's answer: This is.

Rabu, 19 Oktober 2011

6 Momentous Events In Social Media History



The phrase "social media history" seems like a bit of a contradiction.  However, you might be surprised to know that social media has been around for 15 years.  Although Facebook, Linkedin, and Twitter are the main players in the social media realm, other companies developed the critical concepts while Mark Zuckerberg was still in grade school.

1994: TheGlobe.com is founded.
Cornell students Stephan Paternot and Todd Krizelman founded TheGlobe.com.  The basic concept was a web site where every user profile could be personalized along with chat rooms and messaging options.  When TheGlobe sold stock to the public in November 1998, it posted the largest first-day gain of any IPO in history to that date--606% over the initial share price.  Unfortunately, the website failed to generate significant advertising revenue, and finally died in 2008.

1994: GeoCities invents user-created content
The now defunct website-host GeoCities provided customizable “home pages” for anyone.  This marked the first time everyday users could generate and post content on the internet.  GeoCities was acquired by Yahoo! and then closed in 2009.  Its main competitor Angelfire was founded in 1996, and still exists.

1999: LiveJournal Hits The Market
Online diary keeping officially started with the introduction of LiveJournal, the first blogging site.  Its main competitor Blogger is the host site for Joe’s Musings.  LiveJournal failed to keep pace with Blogger, and in 2009, most of its U.S. staff were laid off and remaining operations were moved to Russia.

2002: Friendster Invents Friending
Did you think Facebook was the only website where you can add friends?  Think again.  In 2002, Friendster allowed users to collect “friends”.  Facebook utilized this model and quickly eclipsed Friendster in 2004.  Friendster officially closed and deleted its users’ accounts in May 2011, vowing to reopen as a Asia-focused gaming site.

2004: Facebook Dominates
Founded in a Harvard dormroom, Facebook has quickly become the largest social media site on the internet with over 750 million users.  Facebook is simple to use and many companies now have a page or an app.  The company is expected to go public in 2012.

2006: Twitter Reinvents the Blog
Twitter is a simplified form of blogging that limits its users to 140 characters per “tweet”.  The website now offers retweets, mentions, and a following service.  The model Twitter uses is ingenious because it allows people to keep a blog without writing at length. 

Senin, 17 Oktober 2011

What is strategic communication?




The fields of business and communication have significant overlap, particularly in the area of strategic communication.  You might have heard of someone who actually majors in strategic communications, but have no idea what it is or what it means.  Strategic communications infuses communication efforts with an organization’s agenda and master plan.  Miami University defines it as the study of how organizations and individuals use communication to negotiate their role in society.  This means how a company or government interacts with the media, industry analysts, customers, and employers. 
The strategic element comes into play when a business treats media relations and press releases as fully integrated and consistent with the firm’s goals.  It deals with how a business uses communications to achieve a particular goal.   
The people at the top of the organizational hierarchy must drive and engage the strategic communication process.  It is the leader’s responsibility to ensure that the organization’s actions are consistent with its words.  
In the context of a business, the purposes of strategic communications is to promote the public perception of the company, to reduce the cost of doing business, and to support marketing efforts.  Instead of trying to get as much media coverage as possible, businesses focus on how its core message supports its business strategy across the board.  For instance, a company might deliver different messages to its shareholders, employees, and customers, a move that might seriously damage its credibility.  If a business wants to build credibility, it should strive to present the right message to target audience through the most appropriate media in order to help achieve the company’s goals.
I realize that you probably have not read this far in this post because when most people hear “strategic communications”, their eyes immediately glaze over.  However, how a firm interacts with external actors can have a huge impact on profitability, perception, and the extent to which a company is able to accomplish its goals.

Kamis, 06 Oktober 2011

The Power of Asking Questions




Think back for a moment over your grade school, high school, and even your college years.  How much critical and creative thinking did you do?  Did you simply memorize information so you had the “right” answers to questions, or did you work on asking the right questions?

One lesson I’ve learned in my short life is that learning the art of questioning is just as valuable than the ability to produce answers.  I prefer to study with the students who seek a further understanding than the instructor can put on an exam.  It always impresses me when a student asks a question that starts off with, “What if...”  This demonstrates to me that the student is not simply memorizing one of many possible scenarios. 

It can be so tempting to move on without fully understanding a concept or idea.    Once you make up your mind that you cannot understand something, you have hurt your chances of asking the question that will unlock comprehension for you.  From my observations, students prefer to go for the basic knowledge on Bloom’s taxonomy instead seeking the “whys” and “hows” of a discipline. 

So how then can we be become more skilled at asking questions?  I guarantee you it will not happen overnight.  Becoming better at asking the right questions takes many conversations, reflection, and life experiences. 

In her post, “How To Ask Better Questions”, Judith Ross argues the most effective and empowering questions create value the following ways:
-They create clarity.
-They construct better working relations.
-They help people think analytically and critically.
-They inspire people to reflect and see things in fresh, unpredictable way.
-They encourage breakthrough thinking.
-They challenge assumptions.
-They create ownership of solutions.

Sadly, it is easy to begin implementing proposed answers before we are certain that the right questions has been asked.  We have been programmed to find the “right” answer through standardized tests and multiple choice questions, but many times, a college degree does not equate into being skilled in the discipline of asking the right questions.   

Asking the right questions at the right time will not only make you a better student and a more valuable employee, it will also boost your self-esteem.  If you able to create value through your ability to question, you’ll instill in yourself a sense of your own strength and aptitude.  You’ll gain more confidence and become more competent.   

Sabtu, 17 September 2011

4 Common Misconceptions About The Roman Catholic Church

While the Roman Catholic Church is the oldest and largest within Christianity, and it also might be the least understood Church of any religion.  Led by the Pope, the Roman Catholic Church reports more than a billion members.  Perhaps the most distinctive doctrine of Catholicism is transubstantiation, which teaches the bread and wine are transformed into the body and blood of Jesus Christ.  However, there are other teachings of the Church that people seem to misunderstand...

Misconception: Catholics worship Mary, and therefore, commit idoltry.
The Catholic Church identifies three types of worship- latria, hyperdulia, and dulia.  Latria, the highest form of worship, can only be given to God, and if it is offered to anyone or anything else, it is considered to be a sin.  Hyperdulia is considered a different degree of reverence, and therefore, it can be given to the Blessed Virgin Mary.  In English, hyperdulia roughly translates into veneration.  Dulia is a special type of veneration given to saints and angels.  

Misconception: The Pope is infallible (incapable of making mistakes).
In fact, the Pope is only infallible under very specific circumstances. 
-The Pope must be making a decree on matters on faith or morals
-The declaration must be binding on the whole Church
-The Pope must be speaking with the full authority of Papacy, and not in a personal capacity.

Here’s an example from Pope Saint Pius V in the 16th Century at the Council of Trent:

“If anyone denies that in the sacrament of the most Holy Eucharist are contained truly, really and substantially the body and blood together with the soul and divinity of our Lord Jesus Christ, and consequently the whole Christ, but says He is in it only as a sign, or figure, or force, let him be anathema.”

“Let him be anathema” is a standard phrase that generally appears at the end of an infallible teaching.  It means, “Let him be cursed.”  A more recent example is when Pope John Paul II declared that women can not become priests.

Misconception: The Catholic Church is anti-science, anti-reason, and rejects evolution.

On the contrary, the Catholic Church has contributed a great deal to science and education.  Belgian priest Monsignor Georges Lemaitre was the first to propose the Big Bang Theory.  Unlike many of the Protestant and evangelical denominations of Christianity, the Catholic Church does not outright reject the theory of evolution.  In 2004, a Theological Commission supervised by Cardinal Ratzinger (now Pope Benedict XVI) issued the following statement--

“According to the widely accepted scientific account, the universe erupted 15 billion years ago in an explosion called the Big Bang and has been expanding and cooling ever since...Converging evidence from many studies in the physical and biological sciences furnishes mounting support for some theory of evolution to account for the development and diversification of life on earth, while controversy continues over the pace and mechanisms of evolution.”

Misconception: No Catholic priest can get married

While it is usually true that an ordained priest in the Roman Catholic Church can not be married, the Eastern Catholic Church does allow priests to marry, but a married priest cannot become a Bishop in the ladder case.  Not to be confused with the Orthodox Church, the Eastern Catholic Church still recognizes the Pope as the leader of the Church.  There are plenty of differences between the Roman Catholics and Eastern Catholics, but they believe nearly the same teachings.

Also, priests who convert from other religions are sometimes allowed to remain married.  The father of a high school friend of mine went through this process, and is now a married Roman Catholic priest.  

Minggu, 04 September 2011

Clever College Student



A 20-year old college student and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Phoenix to Kansas City.
 
The lawyer asks if he would like to play a fun game. The young man, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
 
Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.
 
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
 
This catches the student’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
 
The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
 
The student doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."
 
He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
 
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
 
After an hour, he wakes the young man and hands him $500.
 
The young man thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.
 
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the young man and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the young man reaches into his wallet, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

Kamis, 01 September 2011

Driver's Education Exam Answers

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school.
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?

A: What for? He can’t see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?

A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, “Guns don’t kill people. I do.”

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?

A: Your car.

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

A: Be too [drunk] to find your keys.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

A: I’d probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?

A: Make eye contact and wave “hello” if he/she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?

A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?

A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?

A: Carry loaded weapons.

Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?

A: It would be tough to be a [jerk] all day long.

Selasa, 30 Agustus 2011

Cleverly Hidden Images In Corporate Logos

We are bombarded with corporate logos everyday, but there are very clever images hidden within some of these designs.  You’ve seen these famous logos on television, at the grocery store, and on trucks.  Look at these images closely and see if you notice subliminal messages.  Read the description of each logo for assistance.
 
FedEx
Look between the ‘E’ and the ‘x’, and you will see an arrow.






 
Tostitos
These tortilla chips are popular at Superbowl parties and backyard BBQs, but have you ever noticed the celebration scene concealed within the letters?  The second and third t’s are people sharing a single chip over a bowl of salsa. 




 
Tour De France
The Tour De France is the most popular and well-publicized cycling event of the year.  However, even bike-enthusiasts may not know the logo’s most interesting element.  The “R” is a cyclist, the yellow circle is the front wheel and the “O” is the back wheel.



 
Amazon.com
Amazon.com has the distinction of being the largest online retailer in the world.  The arrow underneath “Amazon” begins at A and ends at Z.  I believe this implies that Amazon offers everything from A to Z!



 
Big Ten’s Old Logo
Until Nebraska joined the Big Ten, the conference used this clever logo to embed an “11” on either side of the “T”.  The 11 represents 11 schools in the athletic conference.



 
Baskin Robbins
Famous for its 31 original flavors, Baskin Robbins found a subtle way to include this aspect of their business into their logo.  The right side of the “B” is a 3 and the left side of the “R” is a 1.



 
Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium
You can see the tree immediately, but loose closer to see a gorilla on the left and a what appears to be a female lion on the left.  This is a brilliant way to incorporate nature into the logo of a zoo and aquarium. 



 
Milwaukee Brewers
This was the Brewer’s emblem from 1978 to 1993.  An art history student designed the baseball glove composed of an “m” and a “b” for a 1977 logo contest, and now, it’s one of the most famous designs in baseball.



 
Elefont
This logo appears to be a simple “e”, but you can also see part of an elephant’s trunk in the white space. 


 
Greenlabs
At first glance, this appears to be a boring, green tree, but if you study the top part of the tree where the branches and leaves would normally be, you will see a brain.  This represents the intellectual capabilities of the firm. 



Sabtu, 20 Agustus 2011

Ethics Test



Also known as moral philosophy, the field of ethics addresses questions about good and evil, justice, virtues, and rights.  Ethics refers to well-founded standards of right and wrong that suggest what human beings ought to do.  
Although it can be easy to equate morality with feelings, being ethical is more than just following gut instincts.  In fact, feelings frequently deviate from what is ethical. 
 

In addition, ethics does not apply only to religious people, although many religions advocate high ethical standards.  Ethics applies to atheists, Christians, Buddhists, Muslims, and everyone else. 
 

Also, being ethical is not the same as following the law or doing what society accepts.  One need not look further than slavery before Civil War for an example of how a law can be unethical.  Nazi Germany is an example of an entire society that became ethically corrupt.   
 

Here’s a fun, but intriguing exercise to assess your ethical judgment.  Please note that this test contains misleading and exaggerated information, so use it with proper caution.  The purpose of this exercise is to teach people about ethics, the dangers of quick judgments and subjective criteria. 
 

Two ethical questions:
Question 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had eight children already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
Remember your honest answer and go to question 2.
 

Question 2: It is time to elect the world leader, and yours is the deciding vote. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates:
 

Candidate A: He associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologers. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks up to ten Martinis a day.
 

Candidate B: He was ejected from office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a large amounts of whisky every evening.
 

Candidate C: He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any extra-marital affairs.
Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide, then see the answer below.
 

Candidate A is Franklin D Roosevelt, Candidate B is Winston Churchill, and Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.
 

And by the way the answer to the abortion question... If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.
 

Although the historical accuracy of this test can be questioned, the points made are still valid--we often make ethical judgments based on what society has told us.  In addition, we all tend to make snap decisions in assessing whether something is right or wrong without having complete information.

Kamis, 18 Agustus 2011

How Wi-Fi Networks and Free Wi-Fi Can Be Risky




Do you have a smartphone?  Do you use wireless internet on that phone?  Wireless fidelity (Wi-Fi) is available on nearly every cell phone on the market today, but this convenient piece of technology brings with it potential risks and privacy concerns.  
According to CNet News, 3.5 billion devices will have Wi-Fi capabilities by 2014-that’s roughly half of the world’s population.  These devices include televisions, cell phones, and other computers that have a WiFi signal.  This is great as far as internet accessibility goes, but a well-informed consumer will know the risks as well as the benefits of such a risky venture.  
All WiFi devices emit a unique signal that can identify a particular device.  This signal is known as a MAC address.  If you have an I-Phone, you can scroll to the settings to locate yours.  Why is a MAC address relevant?  Google’s recent project Street View has discovered that its cars had “collected the unique identifiers of millions of WiFi enabled devices”  Google then made that data public, which enables access of this information to quite literally anyone with internet access.  If you know someone’s MAC address, you can then use Google to find out where they live, where they work, and other details about an individual.  
If you have played the popular I-Phone app Foursquare, then you know it uses your current location.  Likewise, Apple records the location of I-Phone and I-Pad users as they move around.  Just last week, a company called TruePosition, which makes software that can track your location in case the police need to locate you in an emergency, has reportedly sold its software to foreign governments.  What happens when governments start using this technology to spy on citizens?
I can see the potential benefits of companies tracking your location and collecting your data, but like anything else, this new technology can fall into the hands of people with evil motivations.  I encourage everyone to be more aware of ways in which your personal devices can be used to collect information about you.  Do your research and make a wise decision before making a purchase of a WiFi enabled gadget.
Another point to consider--how vulnerable is your personal information at public Wi-Fi spots?  These places are easy and convenient, but their openness allows anyone to sign on.  To secure a more safe browsing session, only use services that use “https” so your data traffic is more secure.   

Kamis, 14 Juli 2011

What's Amazing

You know what’s amazing?  Right now, millions of media gurus are utilizing blogs, forums, podcasts, and wikis to voice their opinion to the world.  “Open source” projects like Wikipedia and Linux have taken mass collaboration to a whole new level.  The way communication has been revolutionized in just the past decade is nothing short of phenomenal.  Websites such as Facebook, Youtube, flickr, Pandora, Skype and many more have become commonplace in the English vernacular.   
For centuries, companies did business without the assistance of the Internet.  Now, you won’t find many companies without an online presence.  Almost all businesses have embraced the rise of the Internet and the Web 2.0 as a means to do e-commerce.  Clusters of businesses participate in a intercollaborative enterprise to maximize profits and ensure customer satisfaction.  Billions of connected individuals can now actively take part in purchasing, wealth creation, and social media.    
MP3 music files are now pirated and downloaded instead of bought and sold in the form of CDs or cassettes.  There is an endless plethora of information at our fingertips, but it is impossible for one human being to access all of it.  Blogs are becoming a highly regarded source of information for many people.  Independent citizen journalists can now report the news and give their insights on current events and pretty much anything for that matter.  
New media is particularly fascinating because they have created a virtual community previously unknown to us.  Millions of individuals can now cocreate products and access markets and information.  That concept just blows my mind.   

Jumat, 25 Maret 2011

Amusing Courtroom Quotes

So far, Joe's Musings has been a rather serious project with most of my posts covering topics such as college advice, life hacks, and current events.  Today, I want to take an amusing break and focus on the humorous aspects of our legal system.  These quotes illustrate the various uses and interpretations of language.  Everyone of these are genuine, real extracts from courtrooms.  It's a good thing recorders and transcripts are required in the courtroom, or else none of these funny blunders would have been preserved.

Lawyer. What is your date of birth?
Witness. July fifteenth.
Lawyer. What year?
Witness. Every year.

Lawyer. This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
Witness. Yes.
Lawyer. And in what ways does it affect your memory?
Witness. I forget.
Lawyer. You forget.  Can you give us an example of something you have forgotten?

Lawyer. Now doctor, isn't is true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Lawyer. The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Lawyer. She had three children, correct?
Witness. Yes.
Lawyer. How many were boys?
Witness. None
Lawyer. Were there any girls?

Lawyer. All of your responses must be oral, okay?  What school did you go to?
Witness. Oral.

Lawyer. Was that the same nose your broke as a child?
Witness. I only have one, you know.

Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"

Lawyer. Did you blow your horn?
Witness. After the accident?
Lawyer. Before the accident.
Witness. Sure, I played for ten years.  I even went to school for it.

Lawyer.  How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Lawyer. What happened then?
Witness. He told me, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Lawyer. Did he kill you?
Witness. No

Lawyer. Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--
Witness.  Thank you.  If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment.

Lawyer.  Were you alone or by yourself?

Lawyer. You say the stairs went down to the basement?
Witness. Yes
Lawyer. And these stairs, did they go up also?

Lawyer. Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trail instead of an attempted murder trial?
Witness. The victim lived.