Any field has its fair share of jargon, and philosophy is certainly no exception to the rule. As an added bonus, some philosophical terms have entirely different meanings in our everyday world. In its beginning stages, this post was supposed to be an earnest list of distinctions, but my effort was quickly demoted to a humorous, but somewhat serious conglomeration.
Personal Identity
Layman’s Definition- what you lose when you hit your head really hard or grow old
Philosopher’s Definition- the thing that makes me the same person I was yesterday
Logic
Layman’s Definition- Practice makes perfect, but no one is perfect, so why practice?
Philosopher’s Definition- a terribly complex system that uses upside As and reverse Es
Metaphysics
Layman’s Definition- that section in the bookstore containing tomes about cults, the apocalypse, psychics, and Tarot cards
Philosopher Definition- What Does Metaphysics Mean?
Descartes
Layman’s Definition- a mathematician
Philosopher’s Definition- a philosopher
Locke
Layman’s Definition- Some guy who wrote some books
Philosopher’s Definition- a dead modern philosopher who wrote about politics, language, and the mind
Continental
Layman’s Definition- the free breakfast you get at hotels that includes croissants, orange juice, and coffee
Philosopher’s Definition- a philosophical movement in the second half of the 20th Century that included German idealism, existentialism, phenomenology, critical theory, Marxism, and structuralism
Analytic Philosophy
Layman’s Definition- A redundancy if I’ve ever seen one.
Philosopher’s Definition- a generic term for a style of philosophy that emphasizes the use of scientific methods to develop and solve philosophical problems
Substance Abuse
Layman’s Definition- Overindulgence or dependency of alcohol or drugs
Philosophers Definition- Modern Philosophy
Sound
Layman’s Definition- what we hear with our ears
Philosopher’s Definition- what we call an argument that is valid and all of the premises are actually true
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