Book Review: The Introvert Advantage- How To Thrive In An Extrovert World

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Although introverts only compose roughly 25% of the population, Marti Olsen Laney argues there is nothing wrong with being quiet and introspective.  In her book “The Introvert Advantage- How To Thrive In An Extrovert World”, Laney does an adequate job of explaining the differences between introverts and extroverts.  

Largely written from an anecdotal perspective, Laney is an introverted psychologist, and she methodically divides her book into three main sections.  The first part explores the fundamentals of introversion, offering self-assessment quizzes, descriptions, and stories.  Part two discusses the challenges introverts face in a extrovert-dominated world, covering topics such as relationships, parenting, socializing, and work.  The last section deals with coping skills introverts can use to live a better life.  

Although “The Introvert Advantage” fails to live up to its name, it will provide quite a few “Aha!” moments for introverts like myself.  You will realize you are not abnormal because there are other people out there just like you.  To me, the most refreshing part of the book was the explanations of the neuroscience and biochemistry behind introversion.  This scientific research helps validate to me that there is a reason I feel exhausted in social situations, and that introversion is less of an “illness” and more of a personality trait.  Paradoxically, the research and anecdotal evidence that Laney shares do not culminate in a strong argument as to why being introverted is advantageous.  Perhaps the book should have been more appropriately titled- “Non-Specific Introversion: Who We Are, Challenges We Face, and Coping Skills For Us.”   

Laney explains that introverts are like a battery--they need to slow down and rest in order to recharge.  On her website, Dr. Laney lists qualities:

Introverts:

-Enjoy time alone

-Consider only deep relationships as friends

-Feel drained after outside activities, even if they were fun

-Are good listeners

-Appear calm and self-contained

-Think before they speak or act

This book made one subtle point that really got me thinking--you will never be an extrovert, so stop trying so hard.  In the past year, as I have taken on leadership positions at the University of Kansas, I’ve found myself needing to interact with people in highly stimulating environments.  Even this blog is evidence of my change in temperament--I write about many different topics instead of narrowly focusing on a few.  Over this time, I have become increasingly more comfortable with voicing my opinion and speaking publicly.  

I also felt that Laney reaches out to a female audience, perhaps more than she intended.  Men are expected to be outgoing especially in the dating world because it is perceived as a sign of masculinity.  This book doesn’t address the expectations and difficulties of introversion specific to each gender.   

All things considered, “The Introvert Advantage” is a comforting read that blends stories and facts.  Unlike most self-help books, it does not feed you lines in an effort to boost your self-esteem.  The author is brutally honest in laying out the challenges introverts face in a culture that emphasizes constant communication and overstimulation.  However, if you are analytically-inclined, this book won’t do much for you because it makes generic, high-level points.