Types of People You Might Meet In College

Before I catch any flack from politically correct folks about stereotyping people, I want to say that this article is based in humor, not fact.  I found a similar article online, and I see an opportunity to localize it.  Each person is an individual with unique thoughts, emotions, and experiences and should be treated as such.  It would be foolish to entirely categorize something as complex as a human being, so please don’t get the wrong impression that I am bitter, angry, or conceited.  With that pesky disclaimer out of the way, I present the types of people you might meet in college...

-The 1 Hit Wonder

This guy/girl never says anything in class until one day, you notice this person sweating and looking very intense.  Then, they will raise their hand and participate for the first time all semester.  Generally, their comment is insightful and relevant to the discussion at hand.

-Activist Annie

This girl is involved in nearly every civil rights or liberal campaign on campus.  She can be heard protesting against authority figures or lambasting the government.  On the local level, Activist Annie is involved in student government.

-The Know-It-All

The know-it-all is easily identified by a complete inability to allow a class period by without asking at least 654 questions to showcase his/her own intelligence.  This person does not have a genuine desire to gain knowledge, but instead tries to trick the professor and sometimes belittles the comments of other students.

-The Cave Dweller

This person rarely socializes and prefers to work alone.  Living by the light of his computer, s/he studies late into the night and performs well in the classroom.  Generally likes to drink Red Bull and Mountain Dew.  

-ROTC Cadet

Often seen traveling through campus in fatigues, this individual spends lots of  time in the military science building.  Strong-willed and highly disciplined, this person is almost always is great physical shape.  Intensity, loyalty, and patriotism characterize the ROTC Cadet.  

-The Straight-Laced Gem

This girl is rather shy, studious, probably conservative, and usually attractive.  Once you get to know her, she is very friendly and makes a great friend.  She rarely drinks or smokes because she has no desire to.  The Straight-Laced Gem is a hard worker, but knows how to relax as well.

-Die-Hard Feminist

Usually found in the Women’s Studies or English department.  No matter what the class discussion is about, the die-hard feminist always finds a way to bend the conversation back to the ill treatment of women in modern society and throughout history.  The die-hard feminist gets genuine enjoyment out of citing famous women who changed society from one that degrades women to an egalitarian, equal one. 

-The Guy Who Knows Everyone

No matter where you go, this guy knows somebody he has to high five and chat with for 5 minutes.  Due to his outgoing personality, he is involved in a wide variety of activities that span across many social circles.  Generally doesn’t have lots of close friends, but has more acquaintances than anyone else.  If you want to join a club or meet new people, this is the guy to contact.

-The Sports Nut

This guy is always talking about the game last weekend or the latest news from the sports world.  He usually wears jerseys of athletes both on and off campus.  He generally plays lots of intermural sports and is a whiz at Madden and NBA Live.  If you want arguments for and against the BCS, go to this guy.

-Relaxed Thinker

You can see this guy outside on a sunny afternoon enjoying the fine weather.  Generally covered with facial hair, this guy can hold a conversation about anything, and is usually very attuned to world affairs.  Probably a philosophy or international studies major.  Girls who are relaxed thinkers generally are the same way without the facial hair.  

-The Talker

More often than not, this person is female.  With an incredible ability to babble on without stopping, this person rarely says anything of value.  The Talker has an endless repository of boring stories that are mundane, everyday events to the average students.  The general consensus is that The Talker loves the sound of his/her own voice.  

-Frat Guys/ Sorority Girls

Frat Guys travel in herds around campus decked out in brightly colored polo shirts, khaki shorts, and Sperries.  Peppering their sentences with “Bro” and “Dude”, there is rarely any enduring intellectual value to their comments.  Frat Guys love to talk about how many beers they slammed down at the party last weekend.  Sorority girls usually associate only with frat guys and other sorority girls.  Not all girls in sororities are sorority girls, but the ones that exhibit the described patterns of behavior tend to snobbish, uppity, and love to party.

Note- The only reason the Greek life stereotypes continue to perpetuate themselves has to do with the fact that most Greek houses live up to them.  However, some Greek houses take academics and tradition seriously, and for that, they should be applauded.

-The One Upper

This student loves to one-up anything that you say.  You study for a test for 5 hours?  He studied for 10.  You drank 7 beers?  She drank 15.  Many of the one-uppers stories are false, but he has convinced himself they are true.